“Until he extends his circle of compassion to include all living things, man will not himself find peace.” –Albert Schweitzer
Building Your Inner Circle
You can’t let everyone into your Inner Circle. When you share your innermost thoughts with your Inner Circle, you risk that what you share may be shot down, or worse, turned against you. When you share your confidences with someone else, you must be sure that it’s a person you can be completely vulnerable and honest with. If you choose emotionally immature people for your Inner Circle, you may end up with people who judge you rather than support you when you are confronting one of life’s challenges. They may judge you based on how you act or your need for support during this time, and even years later, they may still label you as weak or needy. You may have moved beyond the original issue and healed whatever needed healing, but the judgmental person will continue to treat you as if you were still dealing with that one issue!
Thoughts have power. When someone you trust holds you in a certain light, it impacts your life. If someone believes in you, your belief in yourself is enhanced. But if someone sees you as having limitations, beliefs, or fears, that vision can work against you. Most coaches will suggest that you not tell anyone about your dreams and goals. The reason for this is that if you share your dreams with people who don’t believe that you can achieve them, their negative thoughts will cause you to doubt yourself. Most people are filled with their own self-doubts. And if they think they can’t achieve something, they may not think you should either!
To develop as a person, you must let go of your old beliefs and paradigms. Sometimes this means making room for new friends. Unsupportive relationships can keep you locked into the person you used to be and prevent you from being who you are now. It can be difficult to let go of an old relationship. The loss of anything important, especially an old friendship, can be quite hard. Yet if you are dedicated to your personal growth, you must learn to embrace change. Many people change careers, relocate their homes, and develop new friendships. It’s part of the journey.
It is important to have the right people in your Inner Circle with whom you can share something wonderful or something challenging. If you are feeling alone on your journey, seek out like-minded people. Follow your inner promptings to find people who can help you become the person you desire to be. Keep in mind at the same time that if you want supportive friends in your life, you have to be a supportive friend. Learn to listen without judgment, offer support without asking what’s in it for you, and be there regardless of the time or location when someone needs you.
Accepting change can be difficult. But once things have settled and the mourning for the loss of the old is complete, the new situation is far better than anyone could have imagined. This attitude gives you the courage to make changes when you are unsure of the outcome. New relationships provide you with a fresh mirror in which you can view the reflection of your life. How the members of your Inner Circle perceive you measures your progress while it provides you with loving support. Each member of your Inner Circle is a precious gift.
